[ Adapted from a comments section on Facebook, of course. Where else. ]

Scene:

Gentleman is irritated about the recently celebrated International Women’s Day.

He’s also very upset that people are criticizing the sitting president.

Quite combative, overall.

He scoffs at the suggestion that men could ever be labeled “entitled,” logically, when they had “built the world,” after all.

Steady clamor from folks calling for his forceful ejection from the thread.

The original poster shrugs her shoulders; he is a relative. She’ll talk to him.

…enter Rose, a bystander.

Letter:

Hmm. Curious.

Why do you think it was men who labored to build most of what we now think of as “society,” _____ ?

Why do you think they made most of the decisions throughout history?

Why is that?

I have a few minutes to talk this morning, _____ , and I am wondering why you think that is.

I have not seen too many women lift a brick.

Interesting. I worked in warehousing, and the gender split was pretty even.

That’s not what I’m asking about, though. I’m asking about history.

I’d like to stay on topic.

Why is it that men were more likely to do labor, more likely to have jobs, more likely to “build the planet” throughout history?

Why do you think that is?

that all started centuries ago, when man made all the decisions, you’re right but with equal pay and plenty of women in charge now they have leveled the field on who makes decisions and in the near future there will be women presidents. That should have happened long ago but we are still in the Stone Age.butttt I know you will totally disagree with me. Of course.

Hmm. No, I’m not 100% sure that we actually disagree.

That’s the thing. I have a sneaking suspicion that you’re just repeating things you’ve heard… ideas that you’ve read online… seen on your news channel of choice… and you haven’t really, REALLY thought about this, and put things into your own words, so that’s why I’m talking with you right now.

I have a feeling that a lot of people struggle with that.

I know it’s really bad. For society.

I’m scared that a lot of people function like that.

And I don’t know how to help it.

Been wondering if 1-on-1 conversation is worth doing, so here we are.

Anyway, back to our discussion.

So having women in charge means that the playing field is level in your eyes?

How many women?

Also… in how many different places do women need to be in charge, for it to be equal in your mind?

Do there need to be equal numbers of male and female CEOs?

Equal numbers of male and female nurses?
Equal numbers of male and female secretaries?
Equal numbers of male and female NASA engineers?
Equal numbers of male and female stay-at-home parents?

…I ask because despite there being a supposed “level playing field” nowadays… a lot of those numbers are still like, SUUUUUPER SKEWED!!

And I mean, they’re starting to change… but still!

(…also, quick side note — I have a sinking feeling this is not something you’re going to even be fully able to consider, ____ , so I didn’t even mention it in our actual thread, but why the heck is there such a strong gender binary in place in our society in the first place??

I am going to just keep on using “men and women” when I’m talking with you because I’m trying to give you some scaffolding here, but…I’ve just gotta’ say. Nottt everything is binary. Many people are not. Most things are not.

ALSO…this doesn’t touch on race, either. Consider those statistics for a second.

That’s a whole ‘nother blog post. A whole book. And it’s been written by people more directly and well-informed on the subject than I am, if you catch my drift.)

Anyway — yeah, there are both men and women in all of those places I mentioned, but there are definite patterns there.

And we can look at those patterns and choose to kinda’ shrug and say, “well, that’s just the way things are!”

…or we can take a closer look and say, “…why is it like that? Why is it STILL like that…? What’s really going on here?”

Bear in mind, I do have to get going soon to do some work…

But my point here isn’t to put my hands on my hips and say, “nyaah nyaaaah, you’re wrongggg” or anything childish like that.

I just wonder, really wonder, if you’ve spend much time thinking about the approximate ten bajillion ways that equality (or the lack thereof) might spill into a human person’s life.

How many ways that equality (or the lack thereof) might show up in society.

I think we can both agree that this sh — is complicated.

We could probably talk for hours about it.

But what do you think?

All four of your questions are all good, I believe that all women and all Man to be totally equal, although I do believe women are a bit smarter. And it has been way too Long that men have been in charge, just look around of all the damage they have caused among women. So therefore I agree with you totally. Not too sure if I answered all the things that you said, but I know it’s a start. And I believe when the next woman becomes Nextpresident of our great nation things will be equal and more.

See, this is exactly what I had suspected.

So…like…when women say things about certain men doing damage, it would be best to listen to them. I know it might go against ideas that you’ve heard from the media, or from tradition, or from wherever but…

Wait. Let me back up. I’m getting ahead of myself.

I saw in the thread that you were defending our current president.

I saw that you were unhappy that people were not respecting him.

And I just…

Okay, do you remember the Women’s Marches?

I know many people had issues with the previous guy in office, sure, but can you remember a time when 2.5 million people took to the streets to protest a single American politician’s behavior?

(That stat is from USA Today. Others estimated around 3 million or 4 million.)

Yeah, I know — there are women out there who like him. I know some.

But there does seem to be a strong sentiment from a lot of women who find his behavior / policies / choices to be seriously objectionable.

And there seem to be a lot of women who for whatever reason are still screaming all over the place about feminism being important all the time. (And I am one of those women!)

Like I said, worked warehousing, nights, lifted plenty of heavy stuff.

And I’m going to tell you something.

I actually used to listen to Michael Savage on the radio every day after school as a kid. I read his books. I never thought of myself as a “feminist” years ago.

But it’s just that since I’ve gotten older, since I’ve had to support myself, since I’ve talked with more people, listened to more people… I have changed.

I have changed the way I think about the world in some big, radical ways.

This is serious stuff.

I’m not going to outright tell you what to think.

But I do want you to notice that most of the other people in this thread do not agree with you. They seem to be getting upset about the way you’ve been commenting.

They seem to be saying things like “you’re hurtful.”

“Please stop.”

And I think it might help if you thought about why that is.

Like, really, why?

Not some cop-out answer, like “they’re stupid” or “brainwashed liberals.”

That doesn’t really mean anything.

What makes them think differently than you? Why do they see this so differently?

Why does this seem to matter to them so much?

Could it be that they’re right?

Anyway, I do have to turn notifications off on this thread now, because I’ve spent a little bit too much time here already today.

But I do know that you’re ____ ’s relative.

And I know she’s a great lady.

And I do have a feeling that you may have not really spent a lot of time trying to think about it from other people’s perspective before.

Don’t be embarrassed about it. I’m sure you’re very busy.

Besides, plenty of people go their WHOLE LIVES without doing that.

But…I dunno. I just thought I’d take a little bit of time to try to talk with you.

Because I don’t want you to feel embarrassment.

I don’t want you to feel shame.

I want you to change.

Yeah, I could write you off as “dumb” or something, but that wouldn’t help either of us. And I don’t think that’s true anyway, not really.

I hope you have a good day, and that you never stop growing.

Love,
Rose

PS:

This letter is partly to you…but it’s mostly to people who might see it here and change their thinking.

You stay the same? Fine. I get it. Can’t reach everyone.

But if other people see this and start to change, even just a tiny, infinitesimal bit, then I’ve accomplished my whole goal here.

[ Adapted from a comments section on Facebook, of course. Where else. ]

Scene:

Gentleman is irritated about the recently celebrated International Women’s Day.

He’s also very upset that people are criticizing the sitting president.

Quite combative, overall.

He scoffs at the suggestion that men could ever be labeled “entitled,” logically, when they had “built the world,” after all.

Steady clamor from folks calling for his forceful ejection from the thread.

The original poster shrugs her shoulders; he is a relative. She’ll talk to him.

…enter Rose, a bystander.

Letter:

Hmm. Curious.

Why do you think it was men who labored to build most of what we now think of as “society,” _____ ?

Why do you think they made most of the decisions throughout history?

Why is that?

I have a few minutes to talk this morning, _____ , and I am wondering why you think that is.

I have not seen too many women lift a brick.

Interesting. I worked in warehousing, and the gender split was pretty even.

That’s not what I’m asking about, though. I’m asking about history.

I’d like to stay on topic.

Why is it that men were more likely to do labor, more likely to have jobs, more likely to “build the planet” throughout history?

Why do you think that is?

Hmm. No, I’m not 100% sure that we *actually* disagree.

I have a feeling that a lot of people struggle with that.

I know it’s really bad. For society.

I’m scared that a lot of people function like that.

And I don’t know how to help it.

Been wondering if 1-on-1 conversation is worth doing, so here we are.

Anyway, back to our discussion.

So having women in charge means that the playing field is level in your eyes?

How many women?

Also… in how many different places do women need to be in charge, for it to be equal in your mind?

Do there need to be equal numbers of male and female CEOs?

Equal numbers of male and female nurses?

Equal numbers of male and female secretaries?

Equal numbers of male and female NASA engineers?

Equal numbers of male and female stay-at-home parents?

…I ask because despite there being a supposed “level playing field” nowadays… a lot of those numbers are still like, SUUUUUPER SKEWED!!

And I mean, they’re starting to change… but still!

(…also, quick side note — I have a sinking feeling this is not something you’re going to even be fully able to consider, ____ , so I didn’t even mention it in our actual thread, but why the heck is there such a strong gender binary in place in our society in the first place??

I am going to just keep on using “men and women” when I’m talking with you because I’m trying to give you some scaffolding here, but…I’ve just gotta’ say. Nottt everything is binary. Many people are not. Most things are not.

ALSO…this doesn’t touch on race, either. Consider those statistics for a second.

That’s a whole ‘nother blog post. A whole book. And it’s been written by people more directly and well-informed on the subject than I am, if you catch my drift.)

Anyway — yeah, there are both men and women in all of those places I mentioned, but there are definite patterns there.

And we can look at those patterns and choose to kinda’ shrug and say, “well, that’s just the way things are!”

…or we can take a closer look and say, “…why is it like that? Why is it STILL like that…? What’s really going on here?”

Bear in mind, I do have to get going soon to do some work…

But my point here isn’t to put my hands on my hips and say, “nyaah nyaaaah, you’re wrongggg” or anything childish like that.

I just wonder, really wonder, if you’ve spend much time thinking about the approximate ten bajillion ways that equality (or the lack thereof) might spill into a human person’s life.

How many ways that equality (or the lack thereof) might show up in society.

I think we can both agree that this sh — is complicated.

We could probably talk for hours about it.

But what do you think?

See, this is exactly what I had suspected.

So…like…when women say things about certain men doing damage, it would be best to listen to them. I know it might go against ideas that you’ve heard from the media, or from tradition, or from wherever but…

Wait. Let me back up. I’m getting ahead of myself.

I saw in the thread that you were defending our current president.

I saw that you were unhappy that people were not respecting him.

And I just…

Okay, do you remember the Women’s Marches?

I know many people had issues with the previous guy in office, sure, but can you remember a time when 2.5 million people took to the streets to protest a single American politician’s behavior?

(That stat is from USA Today. Others estimated around 3 million or 4 million.)

Yeah, I know — there are women out there who like him. I know some.

But there does seem to be a strong sentiment from a lot of women who find his behavior / policies / choices to be seriously objectionable.

And there seem to be a lot of women who for whatever reason are still screaming all over the place about feminism being important all the time. (And I am one of those women!)

Like I said, worked warehousing, nights, lifted plenty of heavy stuff.

And I’m going to tell you something.

I actually used to listen to Michael Savage on the radio every day after school as a kid. I read his books. I never thought of myself as a “feminist” years ago.

But it’s just that since I’ve gotten older, since I’ve had to support myself, since I’ve talked with more people, listened to more people… I have changed.

I have changed the way I think about the world in some big, radical ways.

This is serious stuff.

I’m not going to outright tell you what to think.

But I do want you to notice that most of the other people in this thread do not agree with you. They seem to be getting upset about the way you’ve been commenting.

They seem to be saying things like “you’re hurtful.”

“Please stop.”

And I think it might help if you thought about why that is.

Like, really, why?

Not some cop-out answer, like “they’re stupid” or “brainwashed liberals.”

That doesn’t really mean anything.

What makes them think differently than you? Why do they see this so differently?

Why does this seem to matter to them so much?

Hmm. No, I’m not 100% sure that we actually disagree.

Love,
Rose